18

Don't you feel that there are some days you just want to go into hiding and just throw all your cares & worries away for awhile and truly enjoy life? 

So I kinda disappeared from Whatsapp, Twitter & Facebook over the past few days & I apologize to those of you who were worried especially 'my family'. I'm fine :)

I've never had the feeling that I wanted to be alone before, but I guess this time it just hit me and I just wanted to stop communicating with the world and it felt good. I feel tired of telling people what's on my mind or how's life. Sometimes I feel like I bother people too much with my problems. But I'm still the same debbie, I didn't become an anti-social person over the week but I just feel better this way? Like I'm invisible? 

I just want to be less reliant on my phone or any electronic gadgets. Thankfully, I have work to keep me preoccupied & many activities for the remaining 2 weeks before school starts too! Been coping with two jobs over the holidays and I'd be proud to say that I'm FINALLY making full use of my time during the holidays. I used to just waste my time going out or watching TV shows on my laptop but now I seldom get to use my computer cos' by the time I get home, I'm either too sick or too tired to do anything. 

I'm not cash-strapped or anything but I feel obliged to help out with the finances in the family. With mum almost hitting retirement age, I realize that I too, should do my part to contribute to the biggest pillar of my life and my source of strength - my mum. I love you Mum & I don't want you to work so hard, I promise to help out with the family & study harder for your sake :) 

Also made a point to cut down on my alcohol intake as well as not go to a club until I'm fully matured because I know there are dangers lurking out there and I want to stay as 'danger-free' as I can. Or at least till I'm ready to handle all my problems. Never thought this day would come since I had always been waiting for the day to turn 18 so that I can hit the clubs, but now I just feel that I'm not ready for it. 

Finally went to church after 2 weeks and I'd say - it never felt better to be back in the Lord's presence. My babies in church seem to be growing and my arms are aching after carrying my little angel's! Josiah's face literally lit up when he saw me and ran from afar with arms wide open :) It feels good to be around kids and I can't wait to have my own little kiddos!! OH and not to mention, I'm going to be an aunt (again!) Korkor Darren & Mel are having a baby!! :) I pray for a healthy baby as well as a smooth delivery for Jiejie Mel! 

School's starting in 2 weeks time and I'm going to make it a point to do better this sem! Or at least hit a 3.5 for my next sem's GPA. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". 

xx, debs