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Cry yourself to bed every night
Hoping to feel alright

42

I'm waiting ....

41

"Ben, can you get me ice cream?" 

"Why?" "Are you sad?" 

"Yes." 

"I'll get you a tub before I get back." 

40

Finally went to satisfy my enormous craving for sushi with Kirby at Nihon Mura @ Tampines Swimming Complex. After the whole 2 hours of feasting on sashimi platters one after the other, I am proud to say that I no longer crave for them, in fact I might even stay away from them for awhile now.

Caught 'Ghost Child' to kill time and to test our 'wuss' level and yup we're definitely at puppy stage or below that. We peeked from our fingers, tried to block out the sound effects by covering our ears and didn't even buy popcorn - least we end up spilling it in case we get a shock. 

Conclusion: We're never going to watch another horror film, ever. 

Headed to IKEA afterward, not with the intention to queue for the 10 apiece meatballs but instead to pretend like we were in the show - '500 days of summer' and treat all the furniture like our home. I prefer vintage, white wood, pretty kinds of furniture while he has the liking for black, grey, stainless steel kind of interior. Pretended to brush our teeth in the toilets, hand each other clothes (they were on display) and cook in the kitchen, but I had to do the dishes.... 

Such a fun-filled day and I'm already looking forward to the other plans we have in future with you xx 

Trying to mimic Karen & Kaisen's snake image which they took at Sentosa! 

39

Amen. 

38

When bees flit from flower to flower the nectar sticks to their legs. The phrase "bee's knees" means sweet and good, because the knees of the bees are where the sweet and good stuff are collected.

You bought me coffee? You're the bee's knees! 

37

Day by day, I get put down by people and yet people wonder "why girls feel so insecure? why are they so sensitive?" Well, that's where I think you should fucking stop, open your god damn eyes and realize that it started with you and your judgments.

I wish it's so easy to say 'screw you and your stupid comment' but I take it to heart and I assure you I'll never forget it.

So fucking hurt that my own friends are the ones that can like or comment on the picture, oh thanks for sharing it too by the way. Well go on, damage every ounce of little self-esteem I ever had.

36

My life is a roller coaster ride, constantly filled with ups and downs.

Each and every time I feel happy, something bad is bound to happen. It's like a devil, creeping at the corner waiting for the perfect time when I'd least expect it and bam, life decides to troll me.

Hate this feeling of animosity between friends. Hate how I'd chose to avoid it like a scaredy cat I am rather than to face it. It feels almost natural to shun the problem and just hide in my shell. I know it's not the logical thing to do but I am completely stripped of any ounce of confidence I have after what you said, the honest truth.

And so, now I just feel worthless. I don't even feel worth your forgiveness or a second chance. It's not ego or pride, but it just hurts so extremely bad when it comes from a close friend.

I don't blame anyone but myself.

It's time I start to be dependent and less reliant on friends for acceptance, comfort and happiness. Set my priorities straight and hope to be a better person in future.

Soul-searching begins once the clock hits 11.30 tomorrow, where I am freed from all my worries about examination and I can focus on changing my flaws.

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As corny as this sounds, spending time with you makes me happy :)

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Say hello to the World's Cuddliest Bear - Sarpi :)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone

xx, debs 

33

A daisy, in general, symbolizes innocence and gentleness. 

A white daisy symbolizes common love. 

"In Victorian times, young, heartbroken women who wished to be loved began a custom using the daisy. A young maiden would pluck a daisy's petals, one by one, and sing, "He loves me, he loves me not," as she pulled each petal. The last petal plucked would be the future of her relationship. This custom is still in use today."

32

Never felt so upset in school for such a long time, so I left this horrendous place hurriedly in hopes that I could escape from this awful feeling. Prayed on the way out and doubted God for giving me such a shitty day, so I asked him to 'make my day a better one please'.

As I boarded 15, someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned, it was my unicorn buddy - Zul. In an instant, he asked me what was wrong and out came pouring lil miss merlion but he didn't freak out (or maybe he just wasn't showing it haha) and he kept trying to make me smile, which I did eventually! That would probably be my most memorable bus journey that was only 3 bus stops long! Thank you Zul :)

After Zul alighted, Natsy called me. It was all timed so well, the moment one leaves, another angel appears to keep me comforted. Again, she knew something was wrong and somehow like Daddy God already planned it, both she & I were on our way to Pasir Ris. Perfect! We met, we spoke and we ate together until I cheered up.

Now, I feel so grateful for today. For without it, I wouldn't have gotten to see this beautiful side of my friends, friends who mean the world to me now. That's why I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason, be it a bad or good thing, you will eventually learn some life lesson from it and just in that instant, your eyes open up wider and let you see how clear life is, and what's it about.

Thank you God, for you will never fail me. I love you Daddy!

xx, debs